Meet the Residents: Sporella of Unit 7B
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Meet the Residents: Sporella of Unit 7B
Profile compiled by Miss Bogbean, who is still emotionally recovering from the soup
When Sporella moved into Unit 7B, she brought with her six mushroom companions and a suitcase full of spores. That was three years ago. She now lives with over four hundred.
Her home glows gently at night—lit by mycelial chandeliers and bioluminescent fungi that hum lullabies if you stand still long enough. She is soft-spoken, nearly always barefoot, and perpetually trailed by a subtle scent of rosemary and revolution.
Known Facts About Sporella:
Runs a mushroom union from her kitchen table (union dues accepted in dried herbs, poetry, or polished teeth).
Once turned a pest control van into a sentient terrarium named Gerald. Gerald now lives peacefully behind the compost bins and recites Shakespeare when it rains.
Wears lace spun from mycelium and thrifted veils—“for mystery, not modesty,” she says.
Hosts Soup & Shadow Nights on Tuesdays. Her stew has been known to cause spontaneous poetic insight, tears, and at least one temporary ego death.
Owns a moss mirror that reflects your inner child, your worst fear, and occasionally your ex.
Communicates with her mushrooms through a complex system of hums, hand gestures, and emotionally charged glances.
Neighborhood Warnings & Delights:
Residents are advised not to eat anything from her garden unless they are emotionally prepared to meet their shadow self in a whispering bramble or have a deeply clarifying conversation with a psychic turnip.
“I only meant to water her kale,” said Tomás from Unit 6A, who briefly gained the ability to see regrets as small floating birds. “Now I know too much. But I also know myself. So. Win-win?”
“Delightful tenant,” says Miss Bogbean. “Her stew made me weep and confess to crimes I didn’t commit. I’m still not sure if that was therapy or a mild hex, but I felt very seen.”
Sporella has never once missed Trash Goblin Tuesday and is the only resident brave enough to compost emotionally volatile vegetables.
When asked if she identifies as a witch, Sporella simply smiled and said,
“I’m just part of the network. Aren’t we all?”
Until next time: mind your porch, and don’t trust anyone who composts too enthusiastically.
-Miss Bogbean