Swamp Snack: May HOA Meeting Minutes
Transcribed by the only resident with a working quill and the patience of a sedated newt.
HOA Minutes – May Edition
Meeting Date: May 10, 6:66 p.m.
Location: Beneath the Wisteria Tree, slightly to the left of reality
Chair: Linda (self-appointed)
Minutes Recorded by: “Voluntold” Mort (Filling in for Miss Bogbean)
Agenda Highlights:
1. Lilac Situation (Ongoing)
Several residents have reported their lilacs humming softly between 2–3 a.m.
Baba Yaga insists it’s “harmless metaphysical bloom chatter.”
Mort suggested everyone “stop anthropomorphizing their landscaping.”
Motion to prune the lilacs: Tied vote (Linda for, Raccoon Council against). Matter postponed.
2. Compost Heap Territorial Dispute
Sporella gently reminded everyone that compost is a “shared ecosystem of transformation” and not a place for emotional dumping.
Linda countered with a PowerPoint titled “Boundaries: Why Your Feelings Don’t Belong in My Mulch.”
Baba Yaga rolled her eyes so hard it caused minor atmospheric disturbance.
Motion to create labeled “emotional compost” bin: Approved, pending lid enchantment.
3. Strange Music Near the Wishing Well
Unidentified banjo player still active.
Edith claims the song is a summoning tune.
Sporella described it as “deeply evocative” and “probably not illegal.”
Mort requested the tune be transcribed and archived for poetic purposes.
Motion to investigate: Approved, with snacks.
4. Item Voted Most Confusing:
“Does anyone else feel like the frogs are watching us more... intentionally lately?”
No formal motion made.
Everyone just... sat in silence.
The frogs declined to comment.
5. New Business:
Proposal for a Swampwide Spring Cleaning Ritual involving lemon balm, whispered regrets, and three bells.
Baba Yaga offered to lead the chant, but only if Linda agrees to “stop micromanaging the ley lines.”
Mort abstained, citing “aesthetic neutrality.”
Motion: TBD pending weather and mood.
Adjourned at: unclear—meeting ended abruptly when Sporella’s moss patch started glowing and Linda accused it of forming a committee.
Next Meeting:
June 9, dusk. Bring your own toadstool.